Let There Be Light....Even When I Can’t See It

A Note from My Heart

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog. When I first started, it brought me so much joy... it was my quiet way of processing life, faith, and everything in between. Writing helped me reflect on what God was doing, how I was growing, and the lessons that were unfolding in real time.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped. Life picked up pace, and I told myself I’d get back to it “when things slowed down.” They didn’t, and I missed having this outlet.

So here I am again, choosing to come back to something that once grounded me. Choosing consistency over perfection. Choosing to write again, even when it feels a little rusty.

And honestly, that feels right for this season, because this time of year is always one where I have to choose to show up.

The Shift That Comes With the Season

Every year, like clockwork, I feel it. The heaviness that settles in when the days grow shorter and the light fades earlier. When Daylight Savings hits and it’s dark by 5 p.m., I feel my motivation dip. My energy slows down. My body wants to rest earlier, my mood becomes more reflective, and my drive to socialize or create starts to waver.

It’s not always sadness, sometimes it’s just stillness. But that stillness can start to feel heavy if I’m not careful.

What I now know is that this isn’t just “in my head.” It’s something called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a form of depression that typically begins in the fall and continues into the winter months, when sunlight exposure is limited. It’s more common than we think, and it often goes unspoken, especially in Black communities.

Understanding What’s Happening Beneath the Surface

Here’s what’s really happening when the “winter blues” set in:

• Light impacts our brain chemistry.
  Less sunlight means our serotonin (the “feel-good” hormone) levels drop, and our melatonin (the sleep hormone) rises. The result? Fatigue, low mood, disrupted sleep, and that urge to crawl under a blanket and disappear until spring.

• Vitamin D deficiency plays a role ..... especially for Black women.
  Melanin-rich skin naturally produces less vitamin D from sunlight, which means Black women are disproportionately affected when daylight hours decrease. Vitamin D supports mood regulation, bone health, and immune function, and deficiency can mimic symptoms of depression.

• Our nervous system needs warmth and rhythm.
  When the environment grows colder and darker, our bodies crave predictability; warmth, nourishment, and grounding. But when we push through without rest or routine, our nervous system becomes dysregulated, leading to irritability, exhaustion, and emotional withdrawal.

Understanding these layers has helped me extend grace to myself, realizing this is not about weakness or laziness. It’s biology, rhythm, and the human condition.

What I’m Doing Differently This Season

This year, I’m choosing to be intentional.... not just reactive. I’m asking: What do I need to feel nourished when it's dark at 5pm? What would God have me do in this season of slower pace?

Here’s what I’ve learned helps me (and might help you too):

1. Get proactive with Vitamin D and light.

• Talk to your doctor about getting your vitamin D levels checked.

• Consider supplements or using a light therapy lamp in the mornings to mimic natural sunlight.

• Try to get outside during daylight hours, even a short walk can make a difference. (GAME CHANGER for ME)

2. Build movement into your days.

• Exercise releases endorphins that combat low mood.

• I’ve learned that staying active, whether through the gym, a walk, or dance, isn’t about fitness goals right now; it’s about keeping my spirit lifted.

3. Structure your environment for ease.

• Keep your space cozy, organized, and well-lit.

• Use candles, soft music, and scents that make you feel grounded.

• Have nourishing food on hand: soups, teas, whole meals that feed your body and calm your system.

4. Schedule joy and community.

• Plan small things to look forward to each week, coffee with a friend, a church event, a creative hobby, or quiet self-care time.

• When isolation feels tempting, connection can be healing. Even just texting someone to check in can shift the energy.

5. Give yourself permission to slow down.

• Every season doesn’t have to look the same.

• Rest is not regression........it’s rhythm.

• It’s okay if your pace changes. The goal isn’t to outrun winter, it’s to learn how to live well within it.

Spiritually Speaking

I also find comfort in remembering that even nature rests. Trees lose their leaves. The ground goes still. But that stillness is not death.... it’s preparation.

So maybe this season isn’t about forcing light where it’s dim but trusting that even in the darkness, God is still working. He’s pruning, preparing, and restoring.

Psalm 139 reminds me:

“Even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.”

That verse grounds me. It reminds me that even when my energy feels low or my mind feels foggy, His light is still within me.

Redefining Success in This Season

Success right now doesn’t look like doing everything. It looks like doing the necessary things well.

For me, that means:

• Staying consistent with my vitamins and workouts.

• Not letting my bed become my only resting place.

• Continuing to write, pray, and create.

• Allowing community to love me when I’d rather isolate.

And most importantly, giving myself permission to be human.... to feel, to pause, and to begin again.

A Gentle Reminder

If you’re walking through your own winter, please know you’re not alone. You’re not lazy. You’re not unmotivated. You’re responding to a shift in the world around you, and it’s okay to need different things right now.

Be intentional. Be kind to yourself. Build warmth into your routines. And remember: the light will return, but until it does, you have permission to create your own.

Coming Up on the Podcast

I’ll be diving deeper into this topic in this week’s Almost Together episode, talking about how to care for your mind, body, and spirit when you feel “off,” and how to protect your peace during darker seasons.

So if this resonated with you, stay tuned ......we’ll unpack it together. 💛