Water the Garden: Lessons from our First Marriage Retreat

““But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” - 2 Peter 3:18

The Beauty of Realignment

Marriage, like any living thing, needs water. Not just the occasional sprinkle when things feel dry, but regular, intentional care,like the kind a gardener gives to a beloved plant.

This week, my husband and I were blessed with the opportunity to attend a marriage retreat hosted by my aunt and uncle’s church. It was a sacred pause. A moment to reflect, reconnect, and realign.

And though we’ve only been married for 15 months, I was reminded: you don’t wait until your garden is withering to tend to it, you nurture it while it’s still blooming.

We were the youngest couple there, the “newlyweds” of the group. At first, the idea of needing realignment so soon felt premature. But over the course of the retreat, it became clear: the best time to realign is before things start to drift. Just like you rotate your tires or prune a healthy plant, love requires attention. Growth doesn’t happen by accident, but instead it happens with intention.

Gleaning from Wisdom

We had the honor of learning from couples who had weathered seasons we haven’t yet seen—couples who’ve loved through loss, raised children, shared careers, and still chose each other again and again.

One couple celebrated their 38th anniversary during the retreat. Their love wasn’t just long. It was light. There was joy in their eyes, ease in their presence, and a deep admiration that felt fresh.

Their secret? Watering their garden. Daily.

Sacred Teachings & Soulful Time

Each group session was anchored in the Word. We explored:

• The biblical definitions of love:
  Agape (unconditional love), Phileo (friendship love), Eros (romantic love), Storge (family love).
  → 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Romans 12:10, Song of Solomon 6:3
  
  
• The roles and responsibilities in marriage
  → Ephesians 5:21-33: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ...”
  
  
• The power of forgiveness and grace
  → Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive... as the Lord forgave you.”
  
  
• The beauty of aging together with intention and joy
  → Proverbs 5:18: “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”
  
  

Beyond the sessions, we made space for fun and friendship. My husband spent time golfing with my uncle, while my aunt and I wandered through a breathtaking butterfly palace and did a little retail therapy. Joy is holy, too.

Intentional Conversations & Pastoral Wisdom

One of the most transformative moments came during a one-on-one session with the pastors leading the retreat, a couple married for 57 years.

Their love felt brand new. They still laughed at each other’s jokes and spoke with tenderness. In a 30-minute conversation, they poured wisdom into us, rooted in Ephesians 5 and lived out daily.

They shared how their faith kept them grounded. How respect, forgiveness, and fun helped them navigate challenges. And how their love for God fueled their love for each other.

What I’m Taking With Me

Here’s what I’m carrying from this experience, and maybe it’s something you need too:

🌱 Water your marriage with conversation.
Don’t wait for conflict. Make space for regular, honest check-ins.

🌱 Water your marriage with community.
Let the stories and wisdom of others enrich your path. We’re not meant to do this alone.

🌱 Water your marriage with the Word.
Scripture is full of blueprints for love, patience, and grace.

🌱 Water your marriage with joy.
Make memories. Share laughter. Prioritize fun.

🌱 Water your marriage with faith.
Let God remain the center. When the soil feels dry, He is your Living Water.
→ John 4:14: “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.”

Closing Thought

Marriage isn’t a one-time commitment, it’s a daily cultivation. And just like a garden, what you sow, you will reap.

So I encourage you: take time to water your marriage. Be intentional. Be gentle. Be open. And trust that with God at the center, your garden will flourish in every season.